


"We're Going to be Alright"

by Kcolrehssemloh



Category: Benedict Cumberbatch - Fandom, British Actor RPF
Genre: Depression, F/M, Self Harm, ben fluff, cumberfluff, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-20
Updated: 2014-05-20
Packaged: 2018-01-25 20:29:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1661438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kcolrehssemloh/pseuds/Kcolrehssemloh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After suffering some serious depression and receiving a prompt on tumblr I decided to use this as a sort of therapy for myself. I hope you enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"We're Going to be Alright"

Hey sweetie.. *hugs* I have another prompt. Ben helping you to go through your depression as a friend at first but slowly he starts falling in love with you. despite all the warnings he got from his friends about dating you, he knw that you will be ok because ur a strong woman. After few week you are getting better because of his love..... A Ben's Pov? Xoxo  
_________________________________

"Hey Tiffany um it's Ben. Just wanted to check in. I hadn't heard from you in a number of days. Give me a call when you can." It's unusual for her to not pick her phone up. I've been really worried about my dear friend Tiffay, we always talk but lately the calls have grown fewer and fewer and it's very weird. I'm worried about her. Maybe it's time to head over to her place to check on her. I grab a taxi from my place to her flat on Gower Street. She lives down the street from where we film the exterior shots in Sherlock. 

"Thanks." I paid the driver as we pulled up to her building. I got out and headed to the door to buzz her. 

I pressed the buzzer but got no response, I tried again but still no response.   
"Answer..." I will her to answer when I pressed the buzzer again. 

"What is it?" She answered.

"Tiffany it's Ben. What the hell?!? I've been trying to get you all day." 

"Oh, er...sorry." She groaned. 

"Can I come up? I'd like to check on you." The lock on the door buzzed and I opened it, heading up to the third floor flat she lived alone in. When I got there the door was cracked so I tapped gently and pushed it open. "Tiff?" I asked as I walked in. I looked into her living area and she was on the couch curled up. "Hey, what's going on?" I questioned as I took a seat across from her on the coffee table. 

"Nothing..." She mumbled. 

"There must be something. You never act like this. Tell me Tiff, what's going on?" I prodded. 

"It's nothing alright." She grumbled and turned over on the couch, when she did I noticed some marks on her arms. I grabbed her wrist and held it out. I looked closely and ran my fingers over the marks carefully, Tiffany winced and tried to pull away but couldn't. 

"What?...where did these come from?" I asked softly, upset by what popped in my head. She didn't say anything, I heard soft sniffles coming from her instead. "Tiff, why? Why would you do this to yourself?" I pulled her around to face me and sat her up, I looked straight into her eyes which were clouding up with tears like dams getting ready to burst. "Why?" I pressed, heartache catching my breath in my throat. She hung her head down and started to sob, I sat on the edge of the table and pulled her to my chest to let her cry in my arms. I've always been close with Tiffany she means the world to me. I was angry she would do this to herself but I needed to understand why, what could make her do this.

"I'm sorry..." She wept.

"Why did you hurt yourself? I need to know." I rubbed her back.

"I don't know, that's the thing Ben, I don't know. I'm losing it, I'm slipping everyday, I'm losing control of myself and my emotions. I don't feel anything...nothing at all anymore. I just needed to know if I could still feel pain, still see that I was alive even when I was in the darkest place in my mind. Ben, I'm so scared I'll never be right again. Don't lock me up somewhere please! I don't need that, I just want to feel." She sobbed, making my shirt wet but I didn't care I just wanted to hold her. 

"Shh...it's alright now. I'm here." I rested my chin on her shoulder as I pulled her closer to me. "I'm here now. I won't leave until I make sure you are alright."   
******  
Tiffany had fallen asleep on the couch after she got finished crying and I sat on the couch beside her for the longest time thinking of what I should do. I didn't want to leave her here alone because I didn't want her to hurt herself anymore and right now I didn't want to trust her promise to not do it again. I got up from the sofa and went to her bedroom to pull out a suitcase I found in her closet and threw some clothes and pjs and unmentionables into it. Grabbed her toothbrush and tooth paste, shampoo and some shoes and placed everything in the living room to wait for her to wake up. I sat down in a chair and waited, pulling out my phone to cancel some things I had coming up so I could dedicate my time to Tiffany's recovery.   
"Feeling any better?" I noticed Tiffany started to turn over to face outwards from the sofa. 

"I feel like shit. Probably best seems how I look and act like it too." 

"That's bullocks, I have never seen you look or act like shit. This..." I waved my index finger around her in a circular motion "is not you, this is something I'm afraid will destroy you and I won't allow it. Go wash up, we're going to my place." 

"Leave me to wallow in my darkness, I'm not worth anyone's concern." She waved me off. 

"No, no we aren't going to do this." I got up and slipped my phone into my pocket then went to her and grabbed her arms, pulling her up from the sofa. "Go, get ready now." I pointed down the hall to her bathroom. I gently pushed her off on her way and waited to make sure she went in. "And no self harming!" I added quickly. I haven't any idea of where or when she cut. 

Once she was out and dressed in more pjs I handed her an outfit from her closet to wear. "You are getting dressed, that will make you feel a little better right away." 

"I doubt it...I'll just stay in my pjs thanks." She mumbled and fell onto her bed. I took her skirt I had dragged off the hanger and slipped it on her legs, pulled her to stand again and pulled it up, fastening it and pulling her pjs that were now underneath off. "What the hell Ben?!? I don't need you to dress me!" She complained. 

"Obviously you do, you aren't dressing yourself." I quipped and pulled her shirt on over her head. 

"Ben! God, just go." She pushed me out of her room and finished getting dressed. "Happy now?" She shuffled out of her room and to the living room where I was waiting. 

"Actually yes. Let's go." I picked her things up and opened the door, grabbing her keys from the bowl. "Come along." She sulked and walked out to the hall with me, I closed and locked her place up and headed downstairs to grab a taxi. 

"Ben this isn't necessary..." She groaned and stomped down the stairs behind me. 

"It is and I don't want to hear anymore about it, you will be staying in my guest room until I've gotten you back on your feet.  
*******  
It had been five days since Tiffany came to stay with me, I've been with her almost constantly and making sure she wasn't cutting anymore. 

"Tiff, you awake?" I tapped on the guest room door, I only heard sniffles from the room so I opened it to find Tiffany in bed crying into her pillow. I walked in and sat at her side on the bed, running my hand over her back. I stayed silent, letting her be the first to talk, I was there to lend a friendly ear and a supportive shoulder if she needed it. 

"I'm such a mess...why do you even bother with someone like me?" She cried, her voice muffled by the pillow. 

"I bother because I care for you I love you." As soon as I said it I knew she was bound to pick up on it. I had been talking to other friends about my deeper feeling for Tiffany but all they had to say was how I shouldn't date a friend or shouldn't date her because of what she has been going through but I've had strong feelings for Tiffany for a few months but I've just kept it to myself, now I'm wondering if it was the right thing. 

"You said..."Tiffany sniffled and turned over to look at me "you said you...love me?" I dried her tears as I smiled. 

"I did. I love you." I replied. To my surprise she just cried harder and I started to panic. "Why are you crying?" I asked, worried.

"I wish I could see what you see Ben. I want to see what you see in me. When I look in the mirror I see fat, I see a short freckled redhead that is worthless and deserves to die alone." Tiffany sobbed, drawing her hands up to her face, her body shaking with her deep breaths and hard cries. Seeing her like this made me worry, made me scared. I couldn't think of what to do so I did what my heart pressed me to do, I laid down as close to her as I could and pulled her into my arms but didn't say a word at first. Our breaths and her sobs filled the quiet room and my thoughts rushed through my head like a busy London street. 

"How could you love me? You're hot and famous, kind and a beautiful person. Much higher in society than I could ever hope to be, I live in a small flat while you live in this beautiful home near the Heath. Ben, our lives are so different but somehow you manage to be my dearest friend, the only one that has been here for me lately as my life has fallen apart around me. You say you love me, tell me why. What do you see in me?" 

"I love you Tiff because every time I see you when I return home from a trip I find you there first to greet me, anxious to hear everything I have to say, you are up there with my parents when it comes to encouragement. Tiffany, I love you because you're beautiful. I'm not just talking outside, I'm talking about your heart, soul and spirit. How anyone as amazing as you, can't see that you are one of the greatest people on earth, baffles me. I've had feelings for you, deeper than just friendship, for months but I didn't know if you felt the same. Do you? I want to know, I need to know. Seeing you like this is killing me. To hear you putting yourself down so horribly is making me scared, these cuts on your arms frighten me. I never want to lose you, never! You don't have the right to leave me like this. If you're gone if lose my mind, you're my world and I'd crumble." I was tearing up now. Tiffany's had slowed and now her shaky breaths was all that remained. She looked up to me with her bright puffy red eyes and I kissed her forehead. "You're worth it Tiffany, you are stronger than this and I will help you always. I'll be here always." She nodded and we laid together for an hour, just laying in silence letting our emotions calm down. 

"Your heart beat soothes me..." Tiff broke the silence. 

"I'm sorry?" I asked.

"Your heart beat is beautiful, so peaceful. I could listen to it forever. I feel alive when I hear it. You really love me?" She sounded much calmer now.

"I do." I nodded. "You can listen to my heart beat for as long as you'd like. Stay with me and I'll always be there to calm you down and cheer you up." I kissed the top of her head gently and ran my hand over her back. 

"I love you Ben. Thank you." 

"I love you Tiffany." I replied softly. "We're going to be alright."


End file.
